Why Do I Shoot ONLY Women?
I’ve never been pretty, not in a conventional way. My mother was a stone cold stunner and my kid is beautiful. I don’t think I’ve ever been much in the looks department, though, I think my personality and attitude made people think I was a lot more attractive than I really am.
Sometimes though, I look at old photos and I can see that I WAS pretty, at least once in a while. The thing is, I don’t have a lot of old photos of myself, usually because I was the one holding the camera. I didn’t know back then that I would wish for photos of myself in the future, on days that I look like a hot mess, to remind me of what I can look like.
I kinda got into this whole “women only” photography by a lucky mistake, I did a favor for someone and fell into something that I’ve been obsessed with for the past six years. My photography isn’t about “empowerment”, not really. It’s more about gifting someone else something I wish I had. It’s seeing a feeling that I have felt on somebody else’s face.
I spend every.damn.day working to make my craft better so that I can capture as many women as possible in my lens and make them ask “Is that ME??” No one can spend every day talking themselves up. After a while those fucking memes on Facebook promoting body positivity and self-love become just so many pretty pictures and flowery words that we don’t even READ before we hit “Share”. I try to do for other women what I can’t seem to do for my own self: SHOW them that they ARE as hot as they wish they were.
I wish I could say that I do this ONLY for other women, but the TRUTH is that I do it for ME, mostly. I can’t put into words how I feel when someone looks at their photos and their eyes fill up with tears. There are women that will tell you I act like a fool when I turn over their albums or prints, making jokes and talking to much and stuttering over my words. They’ve seen me do it, but they don’t know WHY I do it.
I do it for the same reason I am ALWAYS acting like a fool: because if I don’t, I’m afraid people will see how I’m REALLY feeling. I’m afraid I’ll start crying because I am overwhelmed and so fucking THANKFUL that I gave someone I gift I can’t give myself.
So many women look at themselves in the mirror and tell themselves they are ugly, they are fat, they are stupid and they don’t deserve anything for themselves.
I am that person who is going to tap you on the back of the head and say BULLSHITANY TIME and KNOW that they are beautiful.